Home with the wife!

I mentioned to my wife that her choice of TV programming on this lazy summer day was; (how I put this diplomatically) beneath her intellectual standards. Her response; "if I wanted to think I would read. Enough said.

Timeless Wisdom #2

The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. _ THOMAS JEFFERSON. Happy 4th of July!

Timeless Wisdom from a Founding Father

A democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those that would not. _Thomas Jefferson

This Old Dog Learns a New Trick

In true 21st century fashion we are raising Harley; my stepson Scott's 1/2 Beagle 1/2 Boston Terrier. You know the story, when one of the kids decides it would be nice to have another life to take care of and then it turns out that they are not up to caring for it for some reason. I am thankful; I know that this plays out every day with "real" children.

If you look at this little guy you realize that I lucked out. What a fabulous pet! At the end of the day he doesn't know that I am past my prime, rapidly losing my swagger and just an old guy trying to stay relevant. I now understand dog owners.

Coaching / Life Quote 2

"People can have great engines, but it means nothing if they don't have both hands on the steering wheel." Bobby Bowden

Coaching / Life Quote 1

'The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely
to be the one who dropped it.' Lou Holtz / then coach at Arkansas

Free Advice

Never WORK your way into a "lose-lose" situation; enough of those will just fall on you naturally.

Youth Sports: What's in it for Mom?

You have a great opportunity when your child commits to playing youth sports. Sure it's a big deal for your child; but I am talking about you! Take this opportunity to build something special around your children; just make sure that there is something in there for you as well.

I know that in your busy world that there is the temptation of taking advantage of a relatively inexpensive baby-sitting service provided by your child's coaches. Please don't fall prey to settling for just babysitting! You are already putting forward some effort just getting them to games and practices. With a little more planning and effort you can enjoy the satisfaction of building your own little sports “franchise” in the comfort of your own home.

The Foundation
Let me suggest a few parameters in building your franchise. The goal is to build a sporting environment that promotes fun, learning and inclusion; and that's just for the parents! Having your child in a youth sports program is not a chore; it is an opportunity to build an atmosphere of learning, problem solving, teamwork and socialization. All of this occurs while accomplishing something very important; entertaining and educating the adults!

The Opportunities
The management of your franchise is all about “staffing”. Here is a brief overview of the opportunities that are available. The more of these jobs you can fill, the more fulfilling your experience will be. Remember the overriding goal of your franchise is to change a “chore” into an “event”.

Transportation Director- it is hard to make this a glamorous job. It is more to it than being on time. A great transportation director can not only give the final pep talk during the trip to the game but can also easily switch into carpool mode when needed. Driving a properly equipped vehicle is a must as well. I have always admired parents that tool around in vehicles that never lack for a vital piece of equipment that might be in demand. Who wouldn't admire the parent that always has the extra coffee, lounge chair or even a copy of the morning paper? By the way, the ability to transform the “team” vehicle into business mode for the next business day is also a coveted skill. Now we are talking about real world adult skills!

Equipment Manager- This is crucial position. Never under estimate the affirming qualities of a great pair of shoes (you notice that I don't list a “financial director” in my franchise). While you are in the shoe department anyway; buy some nice looking shoes for everyone! Manage your time wisely. If you quickly buy the cool sports equipment that your kids want, there is more time for you to try on that cute tennis outfit you saw on the way into the store. Remember; make it an event! Never waste a trip to the store on just buying stuff for the kids.

Sports Nutritionist- Trust me when I tell you that much of what adult athletes know about healthy eating started when they were first introduced to the concept of a pre-game meal. Please introduce this to your children as soon as it is practical to do so. Do your research about what foods to serve your athlete for both the pre-game and post game routines. By the way Mom, prepare that food for you as well. After all isn't every day “game day” for parents? Formal meals aside, there is a common mistake to be avoided at all costs. When you are the “snack buddy” do not give the kids fruit and carrot sticks. Whatever nutritional value you will introduce to the team will be offset by the stigma of being “that Mom”. Leave the healthy eating at home and spring for some Ho-Hos and goofy juice.

Research Analyst- Learn your child's sport! I am not big on learning sports from a book, but wouldn't it be nice to know what people are clapping (or gasping) about? There are great books out there. Please make it your mission to step up your level as your child does. Imagine the thrill of actually knowing what you are seeing when watching the Super Bowl. Your young football player gives you a chance to do that. Personally I never appreciated Olympic gymnastics until my girls took it up. The same applied for ballet (cough cough)!

Promotional Director- Sometimes you need to coax your children to give a sport a chance. Put the pep talk on hold! Instead take full advantage of the social element of youth sports. The other kids all have parents; get to know them! You need them! If playing a sport to your child means “pizza after the game” then by all means make the other likeable parents on your team party to your little scheme.

It is just that social savvy that will prepare you for future challenges and opportunities that lie ahead as your child grows and develops as an athlete. After all, why not grow with your child? My hope is that you will one day reach the pinnacle of sports parenting; Team Mom; the Holy Grail of youth sports power and influence!
Enjoy the game.

A business colleague told me this story in the late 80's and I have used it in every athletic and business endeavour that I have been involved with since then.

Ted Turner used to be a world class yachtsman; competing several times to earn a berth to represent the US in the America's Cup. His boat was named Courageous and people nicknamed him "Captain Outrageous".

Turner was racing his yacht in the North Sea in a highly prestigous qualifying event. After a early malfunction Turner came back from last place and was soon racing to the front. As he was about to take control of the race a violent storm blew in. Officials called a halt to the race, later deciding to let all entered advance to the next round. The entrants were contacted over marine band radio to return to port or any safe haven. The boats quickly complied. Race officials realized that the Courageous had not responded and spent nearly 45 minutes trying to reach Turner.

Upon breaking radio silence, Turner immediately asked; WHAT PLACE AM I IN?While others had accepted the consolation prize and was happy just to survive, Turner was only interested in competing. Little wonder that he is one of America's greatest business icons.

Coach Al Groh

It has been obscurred by poor results in recent years but I wanted you guys to know that Al Groh is one helluva football coach. He had a grand plan for his alma mater and somewhere along the line the stuff he could not control did him in. He was never a great fit (or even a good fit) from a PR standpoint. He fashioned a "tribe" (his words) of coaches that captured the imagination of the UVA faithful. He then went about his business well, making progess at first; all the while structuring a public image that eventually would choke his program to its death.

Personally he was everything that you've heard. He did come off as arrogant, he did "grade" reporters questions in his mind and often answered accordingly. I found him to be very interested in what I had to say when we talked and I never really understood why other people didn't receive that same message that I did. He knew that people wanted a "back slapper" and that he was on the edge of being a hermit when compared to other Head Coaches. He didn't care; he had no intention of changing. To him, he would let the play on the field do his talking. I don't think he sees that connection even today; PR is part of the Modern Football Coach's job.

My phone rang 12 hours after he had been hired. We had never met. I had just been quoted in the RTD about Tech's success in recruiting the state. I guess he got my number from his son Mike who I got to know while he worked as a stock broker in Richmond. Mike and I had actually talked about doing a talk show together before Al had him join the Jets staff as a QC guy. We instantly hit it off and talked for about 45 minutes. At the end of the conversation he said; "well, Gary what do you think should be the first thing that I do to get all of this done?" I told him to hire Mike London and put him in the 757. He laughed and said; "I think I can make that happen". Of course that was already a done deal. He didn't need my advice or my approval. He made that perfectly clear. He invited me to come up to spring practice and told me to stay in touch.

Because the radio thing was doing enough to get me press credentials I went to about 7 games a year through 2004. Most of my one on one conversations with Groh from then on was at the the Spring game, All Metro banquet or around signing day. At that point he always called me "coach" (because of Arena Football) and I always thought that he enjoyed the fact that he could talk above the sound bites that he would reluctantly give the press. I don't count him as a friend because we never got close; we justed talked football and about players.

A lot of bad things have been said about Coach Groh. I will tell you that I think that he believed that you earned a right to have his attention. I think that is THE "Parcell" thing about those coaches that we now know so well. That is why he will leave a squad of players that HAD earned that right and will miss him.

I hope he coaches again. I hope he gets a job that allows him to just recruit, evaluate and coach "his guys". He was a true "piece of work". I am hoping that his assistants all get re-settled, I think they will tell you that they learned a lot from Groh.

Evaluating your Child's Youth Coach

I have already rubbed some people the wrong way just with the title of this article. You may have already dipped your toes into bubbling stream that is youth sports. You are asking yourself; do I EVEN want parents evaluating me when I am trying to coach their kids?

As you might expect from my background that I am “pro coach”; I believe that parents need to understand that there has to be some boundaries when they entrust their children to a coach. I can honestly tell you that I did manage to follow that advice myself when my children played youth sports for another coach. I set my own boundaries. Fortunately for all involved my parameters comfortably meshed with my kids’ coaches’ expectations. Make no mistake; the final word on that boundary must lie with the coach. Sorry Mom! Sorry Dad!

Evaluating your child’s coach will always be tied to your personal expectations for your child; whatever those expectations may be. Fortunately we are still a “results oriented” society and the “bottom line” exists even in youth sports. My advice is to evaluate the process more than the results. Different parents will view their child’s team’s “results” and come to many varied conclusions. Observing how your kid’s coach goes about their business is a much more objective way of measuring how successful they can be for your child. My experience is that the process of youth coaching done correctly inevitably takes care of the final results.

Here are some suggestions of what to look for when evaluating your child’s coach. They are not necessarily in order of importance; remember these are your expectations, not mine.

1. Organization. When I speak to youth sports coaches I tell them that they have to be more organized than their most organized parent. If you can’t manage that then “hire” your most organized parent! One of the most lasting life lessons of youth sports is that; “chaos is bad; organization is good”.

2. Curb Appeal. This is tricky; there are a lot of great youth coaches that don’t look the part, but are tremendously effective. I look for a coach that recognizes that this is a public relations job and they should approach the job accordingly. How far does a first impression go with your child? How about with you?

3. Communication. Proper communication puts you in partnership with your child’s coach. Boundaries, expectations and philosophy should all be a part of this conversation. How does your coach handle correcting and criticizing your child? Rest assured it will happen. A coach that puts it in writing has gotten off to a good start.

4. Entertainment Factor. Does my child have fun? You know that you have hit the jackpot when your kid has a coach that can make practice fun. I am told that the best advice I have ever given out is to find a fun way to see who LIKES to compete. It was a more “pressurized” situation; but I once took a Girls Softball All-Star team (11-12) bowling. I wanted to see who really liked to compete, even when there was nothing at stake.

5. Sports Knowledge. The older the child the more important this becomes for you and your child. The more advanced the coach is with his craft the more important it is for them to also aspire to qualities 1-4 when they coach your child. In other words; knowledge of a sport does not guarantee coaching success. This flaw exists at every imaginable level of play; even in professional sports.

6. Intangibles. When I played Little League I had a coach with a river place and a built-in swimming pool. Best coach I ever had!

Enjoy the game!


About the Author

Gary Criswell has coached and officiated multiple years in youth sports while making football his main focus. That has led him to coaching positions at the high school, college and Arena football level. “Coach Criz” currently is in his 14th year of broadcasting High School Football (Sports Radio 910). He also currently serves as the color analyst for football and basketball for the Virginia State Trojans for WVST FM and Campus TV.

Please don't fear the Liberals!

I consider myself politically educated and I feel secure in my conservative (on the edge of Libertarianism) skin. Liberals and their philosophy are a source of entertainment for me. What bothers me in today's political climate is the outrageous betrayal of both sides by their political opponents. Why are we taking everything so personally?

President Obama and the Democratic Party do not want to build a Socialist Republic just for the sake of being true to their political philosophy. The new vision of any politician especially at the highest levels is focused on one thing; what keeps them in office. Unfortunately (I hope) for the Democrats reaching this goal increasingly means that they are required to create a larger and larger segment of our society that is totally dependent on the Federal Government to go about their lives. That means votes which translates to job security. I hate this, but I don't hold it against the Democrats. I live with hope that the American public will never sit still for a class of under-achievers to; in essence dictate policy.

When you realize that the opposition is not evil, but interested in self-preservation then you have the ability of not taking everything so personally. That will tone down the rhetoric and we can run this country through a presentation of ideas; like maybe term limits. Enjoy the day.

Favorite Sayings- Installment 2

You can't ride donkeys in the Kentucky Derby! - Joe Taylor- Head Football Coach Florida A&M

Something to consider in your hiring and budget strategies.

Goodbye Summer!

My entire professional life has required me to "turn the page" about this time of the year. My entire adult life I have been employed by, working with or married to the education system. As my wife returns to work and my company ramps up to meet the challenge of schools opening I find myself in a familiar spot.

As we sought to make the most of "our vacation" we went to our beloved Wintergreen and did things that make us happy. Still sitting on the brink of what I lovingly call the start of "the season" I feel the same that I did before I reported for my first teaching job at the age of 22. The thrill of that memory is tempered by the fact that it was 33 years ago. Enjoy the day!

Writing Books!

I've had two great opportunities to write a book in my life. The first was when I lived on a Historically Black University (HBCU) campus during the OJ trial. I was coaching football there and observed not only the trial with all its hoopla, but also the Republican Revolution of 1995. Remember Newt? Thanks Mark Fuhrman! The resulting discussions left me with one question; why do I have to explain the phrase "rugged individualism" to an educated black male? It was a very educational part of my journey.

The second opportunity was dating on the internet at the age of 50! This occurred after my first marriage folded after 21 years. If you see humor in the bizarre and potentially bizarre, let me recommend that experience highly. It should be noted that I met my current (2nd) wife the old fashioned way.

I did come away with an idea of why internet dating sites prosper; it's hope! Every click might be the next "ONE". People live, vote, worship and even relocate based on hope. It might be the one condition that connects all of us.

The kids I hang out with- Part 2

I carried over my preferences from the golf course to this year's summer meeting. We had enough down time at night to keep things interesting and once again I chose to hang with the pups! Many thanks to the young lions that are already making things happen in our company.

I think I may be addicted to youth. So far it is healthy addiction; free of transplants, dyes and gross additions of bling. My guilty pleasure? Evidently it is giving "sage" advice to those that are not yet in the habit of listening. I appreciate them putting up with me anyway. They even bought a few rounds!

Favorite Sayings Installment 1

"Don't confuse activity for achievement"- Gene Stallings

Step outside the sweat, frustration, stress and time consumption of your daily or daunting tasks and ask yourself; Am I getting anything done?

The "kids" I hang out with...

Golf is a big deal for me. It is now my favorite mode of competition; which means a lot when you consider where I have been in my life professionally. Who you play with regularly says a lot about you.

I much prefer to play with guys (& girls) that are younger than me. They sweat less, complain less, hurt less and occasionally can get a date with the 20 year old cutie serving drinks after the round. Thanks Chuck! I don't even remember how I played. Youngsters give old guys perspective.

Opening Post

If you read my profile, you know one thing already; I take family very seriously. The best thing about being 55 with adult children is when they "leave the nest" and actually show signs of being very successful; it is a GREAT feeling. Happy Father's Day to me! Thanks kids! Try not to screw it up!